


Guards! Guards! Guards!

by ReggieJackson



Category: Aladdin (1992), Aladdin: The Animated Series, Disney - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comedy, Complete, Humor, Other, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 15:16:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16328468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReggieJackson/pseuds/ReggieJackson
Summary: A daily route in Agrabah turns into another chase for the guards to catch the ever elusive street rat. But all of that changes when the boy takes the pursuit in a bizarre direction.





	Guards! Guards! Guards!

****

**Hello Everyone! Without giving too much away, this story takes place over one year before the events of the first film. The above art was done by me. You can also find this picture on my Deviantart page. Might consider changing it since its minus one character, oh well.**

* * *

"Guards! Guards!"

No sooner had Razoul heard those words he ran in pursuit of the thief. His daily patrol in the marketplace was once again interrupted. The person of interest had just snatched a handful of figs from a local merchant. The merchant happened to see him running away when the thief's primate accomplice spilled some of his product into the streets. It didn't take a genius to know who it was.

Fueled by determination and eagerness, the royal guard made a beeline for an empty alleyway near the edge of the marketplace. And there he was.

Purple vest flapping against his back, the ever-elusive street rat was just ahead of him. Razoul did not know this boy's name, and he really didn't care. All he knew was that the boy had a good several feet ahead of him, and he needed to pick up the pace.

The guard practically left a trail of dust in his wake as his tiny feet continued to push forward. Slowly but the surely, the gap began to close. The boy looked back, a brief pang of concern flashed in his eyes. Up ahead, an opening to another alleyway came up on his right.

The street rat suddenly stopped right in the middle the street where the two paths met. Confused, Razoul nearly stumbled on his own feet when he came to a stop as well. With his hands on his knees and his chest on fire, he stared up the street rat, who still hadn't moved. Why did the boy stop?

The street rat turned around to face him, a cocky smirk on his face.

"Tired already? Don't tell me you're finished now!" the scrawny boy called out.

Razoul ground his teeth at the disrespectful jab the pest had given. He was toying with him. The now angry guard charged towards him at full force, the boy still remaining in place. Between huffs and puffs, he managed to yell out to his future captive.

"Not as finished as you will be street..!"

 _Wham_!

Two large bodies hit him from the second alleyway. The burly guard fell to the ground, his turban flying off his head in a cloud of dust. Razoul spat sand out his mouth as he struggled to get his bearings. When he recovered, his befuddlement turned back to anger.

"Get off! Get off!" he yelled to the dizzy men piled on top of him. He managed to wrestle out from underneath their weight and was back on his feet within seconds. That boy couldn't have gone far.

Unfortunately, to his disappointment, the street rat was nowhere to be found. He'd escaped.

"Damn" he grumbled. He turned to his bumbling partners. Fasal; an overweight dark skinned guard, was busy massaging his lower jaw. Next to him; Hakim, a skinner and far paler guard that was brushing the dirt off his own turban. "I hope you two are happy"

"No! You got me in my chin!" Fasal whined.

"Which one?" Hakim retorted flatly. The taller guard snatched his turban and swiped him in the back of the head.

Razoul in return swiped both of them in the face with his own turban.

"What were you two thinking?! I almost had him!" Razoul yelled between breaths. He'd almost forgotten he'd run at least a mile earlier.

"The boy always comes down this alley, we thought we could" Fasal began to explain.

 _"We_  didn't do anything" Hakim corrected. " You ran off without warning. And I had to go get you before you did something stupid! Again!"

"Hakim, it's called intuition" Fasal narrowed his eyes at him.

" I call it foolishness"

Razoul silently bristled as he stretched the brim of his turban over his eyes. When he became captain of the palace guards, he didn't expect to deal with such incompetence.

"If you two weren't fellow guardsmen I'd have you..!" Razoul's threat was cut off by a fourth person running towards them.

"Nahbi! Did you see the street rat?!" Razoul called out to him. He'd almost forgotten he'd come along. The short but stocky guard said nothing. Instead, he nodded his head and motioned with a wave of his arm that they needed to get moving.

The others got on their feet and followed after him.

With Nahbi in the lead, they began to head down another alley heading back towards the marketplace. He prayed they were close. Razoul was tailing right behind the others when he heard the street rat's voice.

"Watch out!"

Without warning, Nahbi ducked down just as an oncoming animal barreled right towards them. Razoul barely saw what it was before Hakim and Fasal dodged out of the way. And when he finally did, the animal's hoof had already planted his head into the ground. The others looked behind themselves to see a donkey careening down the street, and the street rat mounted on its back. Still dazed, Razoul flailed aimlessly on the ground, a hoof print planted on his forehead. The other guards stood just above him.

"What the?! The boy took a donkey?" said Fasal.

"Fasal, the correct term is an ass" Hakim corrected.

Really? "I thought what we call Razoul when he's not looking..." The fat guard choked on his words when a meaty fist sprang up and around his neck.

"For your health Fasal, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that" Razoul seethed through clenched teeth.

"Guards!" a new voice yelled.

A short wrinkled man ran up to them, his cane hitting the ground with every other step. Razoul let go of Fasal and got up on his feet.

"What happened here?"

The old man threw his hands in the air, swiping his came as if buzzards were near. Behind him, a herd of donkeys was tied together near a nearby post.

"It it's terrible! Someone ran off with one of my donkeys!"

"Really? We haven't noticed" Hakim muttered, stating the obvious. He flinched when Razoul nudged his shoulder.

"What?" the irritable man rubbed his ear.

"Nothing sir, he simply misspoke" Razoul cut in, arching an eyebrow at Hakim. The head captain did not appreciate sarcasm. Fasal stepped in front of them.

"The thief who did this, did he happen to have a purple vest?" The pudgy guard asked the man.

"Yes!" the old man nodded.

"And a little monkey on his shoulder?"

The man paused for a moment before prodding his cane to the ground. "Yes Yes!"

"Didi the little thing have a bag of dates on him?"

The excitement in the old man's face scrunched into that of confusion. "What does that have to do with my donkey?!"

"Personal affairs" Fasal's brow lowered. The other guards groaned at hearing that. It had been over a week since the street rats' monkey friend stole his hidden dates, and he was still sore about it. Razoul pushed him aside, desperate to get this venture back on track.

"Don't worry sir, we'll retrieve it for you, and the thief that took it," Razoul said to the old man. He waved to the other three guards around him and took off running. "Come on!"

"Razoul, Wait!"

The guard barely made it a few feet when Fasal called his name.

"What is it, Fasal?! And call me Captain when we're in public!"

The portly guard rolled his eyes. "Fine,  _Captain_  Razoul. I have an idea"

"Oh no," Hakim said while rubbing his eyebrows. Nahbi buried a hand to his face.

"What? It's a good one!"

Razoul and the others knew better than that. He and the other two knew all of Fasal's ideas were either food based or fool based. And sometimes they were a mixture of both.

"Fasal, we don't have time for this! The street rat's getting away!" Razoul scowled with annoyance.

"So why run?"

"What?"

Fasal guided their attention to a wooden cart behind the old man. It was filled with bales of hay and various pots. He leaned on one side.

"Let's use this. We'll get on the cart, add a horse. And ride it around until we catch him"

The three guards gave nothing blank stares to his odd but somehow innovative idea.

Hakim stared at him in astonishment. "Fasal, that's actually a brilliant piece of…"

"Nonsense!" Razoul interrupted. He poked a hard finger into Fasal's protruding pot belly. "This is exactly the kind of talk that had reduced Agrabah's royal guards to a bunch of misshapen gourds!"

"And what's wrong with gourds? Some of them are delicious!" Fasal swiped his finger away. Razoul grumbled with disgust.

"I don't have time for this. We're fast enough as is. That cart is broken anyway!

"So we'll fix it! "

"Then well be wasting time! Who knows how long it'll take?"

"What about my donkey?!" the old man wailed.

Hakim was already blocking out their bickering when Nahbi tapped his shoulder. The shorter guard pointed at the old cart in question. The aged vehicle sat at an angle, a cracked wheel was the culprit. It wouldn't take long at all to have it repaired.

"Will you two make a decision and…" Hakim spoke up.

"Not now!" The two larger guards responded. The skinny guard rolled his eyes when he felt someone nudge his shoulder.

"Like talking to two stone walls?" Nahbi uttered, in one of few instances he bothered to talk.

"No, stone is far less dense," Hakim replied.

Nahbi didn't say anymore as he cracked his fingers. Hakim's eyebrows rose as he watched him go to work on the wheel. Nahbi pressed down the top of the wheel with one hand, holding the cracked edges together. Then he took out a tiny pot from his pocket. From it came a tiny brush covered with glue. Why he had that on him, Hakim had no idea. Nahbi applied the glue to the wheel and blew on it. And all of this was done in a matter of seconds. Hakim was too awestruck he barely noticed Fasal and Razoul were still going at it.

"…Fasal, if I can outrun Princess Jasmine's tiger, I can outrun a horse!" Razoul shook his fist.

"But her tiger still bit you!" Fasal spat back. Their banter was interrupted when Hakim cleared his throat.

"Look" the skinny guard pointed over to the cart. Nahbi proudly stood right up against the now fully repaired wheel. He lifted up the side of the cart to spin the repaired wheel. Fasal crossed his arms with a smirk.

"Well, Captain Razoul? Want to have a go?" He asked Razoul.

"Fasal this is a merchant's cart!" Razoul muttered so the old man wouldn't overhear. "We can't just take it!"

Immediately after he said that Hakim handed a few gold coins to the merchant.

"Will these cover any damages?" he asked him. A crooked-toothed smile spread across the man's face.

"As long you bring my donkey, yes!"

"I stand corrected" Razoul uttered flatly. He sighed, knowing that they were wasting enough time as is. "Fine. But only this once."

Both Hakim and Nahbi hopped onto the bales of hay inside the cart, satisfied that they could finally get moving. After all, each of them could sensibly ride a horse. A donkey shouldn't have been any different. The old man tied another donkey to the wooden vehicle, it was much larger and hairier than the one the street rat swiped. Razoul lurched back when the large animal nibbled at the flaps in his turban.

"Move over, Nahbi. Let me take the reins. This was my idea" Fasal said to the shorter guard. Razoul shoved him to the side.

"Fasal, I'm the captain, it should be me!" He insisted.

"Oh, Allah…!" Hakim grumbled as he fell back into one of the hay bales, grabbing at his turban in frustration.

"It should be me!" Fasal replied as he began to climb onto the cart.

"Fasal, have you ever driven a cart before?" Razoul said.

"Nope, but I know where to go!"

"Go?" Nahbi exclaimed.

"Yes! Go!" Hakim shouted.

Nahbi took the reins and gave it a swift chuck. The donkey rose up on its hind legs, letting out a guttural bray before it took off. The cart lurched forward, nearly tossing the two guards out the back end.

Fasal fell out from under his feet as the moving cart dragged him down the street. Razoul hit the ground face first, more dust kicking into his face.

"Stop! Wait for me!" Razoul shouted at them. He was already regretting to have agreed to this idea. The guard quickly managed to catch up the cart and hop on. He grabbed Fasal's hands and dragged him onboard. The pudgy guard landed face first in a bale of hay. Several strands of hay stuck to his face as a temporary lion's mane.

"Hey, I wanted to hold the reins!" Fasal yelled.

"Action over assertion, Fasal" Hakim answered with a sly nod. Razoul squeezed up to the front, a small strand of hay stuck in his teeth. In front of him, the rowdy animal followed the trail of hoofprints left by the other donkey.

"Turn left! Turn left!" Razoul yelped. Nahbi jerked the reins to his left. The cart narrowly missed a carpet vendor that was just a few feet ahead of them.

The trail of prints they followed had guided them straight into the marketplace. A crowd of merchants and traders parted ways as the crew tore a straight beeline through the commotion. Carpets and fresh seafood spilled into the road, making the cart slip and slide. Miraculously, they managed to avoid mowing down anyone in their path.

Fasal scooped a handful of dried dates from a passing fruit vendor.

"Fasal, you didn't…!" Razoul began to say when the portly guard tossed a few coins to the merchant trailing further behind them. "Never mind"

Thankfully the tracks started to guide them further away from the marketplace and right towards the outskirts of Agrabah. Run down hobbles flew by to either side of them. They bumped against several corners, narrowly missing other random passerby's that were in the way. But there was still no sign of the street rat, and then  _he_  appeared, just up ahead of them.

His scrawny body flopped ungraciously on the donkey's back. He tightly gripped onto the animal's mane trying not to fall off. A clear indication that he was just as inexperienced as they were. For Razoul this was good. Now they had a level playing field.

Nahbi mushed the reins again, making them go even faster. The wind blew the flaps in his turban. They steadily gained on the boy down the long curving road they were on. Despite their speed, they were still too far off to catch him. Several alleyways started popping up on either side.

"We have to cut him off!" said Razoul.

"Save the execution for the palace, Razoul!" Hakim gasped.

"No, cut ahead of him so he'll run right to us!"

Nahbi veered into a short alleyway off to the right. The donkey led them down a shady pathway to an opening up ahead. When they came out, their timing couldn't have been any more perfect. They turned onto the main road right when the street rat and donkey blazed right beside them. Both parties were side by side at just over arm's length.

The street rat looked up at them in shock. An incredulous grin spread across his face.

Razoul leaned on the side of the cart, his arm stretched out, and ready to grab him. Fasal did likewise, bearing his enormous meaty arms.

"Pull over street rat!" Fasal called out to him. The street rat looked at the guards and gave them a helpless shrug.

"Sorry! Hate to steal and run! But I don't have the time" the boy cocked his head. "Come on, Abu!"

A bout of high pitched chattering roused their attention. Fasal and Razoul looked down to see something small rustle within the hay. It already leaped off the edge of the cart when the two guards bumped heads trying to grab him. The small animal was the monkey, dressed with a matching vest and fez to match his human accomplice. It climbed onto the boy's back and popped a dried date into his mouth.

"What the?! My dates?!" Fasal searched his pocket in surprise. The monkey shook his eyes in a taunting fashion he before eating another one. "Hairy big nosed rat!" Burning red in the face, the guard lunged for the monkey and nearly fell off. His hands scraped against the hard sandy ground. Razoul grabbed him at the sash around his waist, struggling to not let go. At the same time, the street rat and his companion pulled further behind them. They were slowing down.

"How do you turn this thing around?" Razoul yelled, banging at the side of the cart. Nahbi twisted the reins counterclockwise. The donkey veered another hard left. All four of the guards nearly fell out when the cart drifted at a steep angle. The cart came to a stop. Several feet behind them, the street rat hopped off the donkey and disappeared down the street.

"My fingers have been reduced to stubs!" Fasal whined. He blew on his scratched hands.

"He's off the donkey, now we can go retrieve it" Hakim commented. He and others hopped off to retrieve the tired animal. The small donkey rested against on the ground, nibbling on a nearby fringe of a hanging tapestry.

Razoul shook his head at their predicament. The street rat was still within view, they were so close. It was ridiculous to stop now. Without a second thought, he mounted the large donkey's back and whipped out his sword. First, he had to eliminate some extra baggage.

"Razoul, what are you doing?!" Hakim complained.

"You deal with the donkey... the street rat is mine!" Razoul answered. With a quick swipe of his sword, he dismounted the reins from the cart. Instant regret came over him as the now liberated donkey buckled and shuddered wildly out of control. Razoul yelped as the donkey jumped around, struggling to shake him off. But he refused to let go, and he guided the unruly animal in the street rat's direction.

While the head guard disappeared further down the street, his disproving guardsmen looked on behind him.

"How long do you think it'll be before he falls off?" Fasal asked the others.

"I give three minutes" Nahbi spoke.

"I give him three seconds" Hakim added.

Meanwhile, Razoul grasped at stray clumps in the donkey's mane. He tugged at them just as hard as Nahbi did with the reins. The donkey zipped further down the road nearly, trying to knock him off once more.

Within seconds, the street rat reappeared just ahead of him. The boy looked back in shock before taking off into another run. The distance between grew smaller and smaller with each passing second.

Razoul leaned forward and reached out his meaty hand to grab him. Nothing was in his way now, no guards, no extra weight, just the two of them.

The boy looked at him. That cocky grin he had earlier was gone. Sweat beaded on his head as he tried to outrun the guard to no avail. A grin spread across the guard's face. The street rat's donkey accomplice was no longer of service to him. It was over.

Razoul's rough hands grazed the back of his purple vest when his vision went dark. Something loud and chatty pulled his turban down over his eyes. It was the monkey. The primate like vermin screeched into his ears, hopping on his head. When Razoul finally pulled up his turban, his eyes widened with disbelief.

"It can't be!"

The two thieves were no longer in front of him or behind him. They'd simply vanished. He was so shocked at this revelation, hed completely forgot to keep his eyes on the road. The donkey bucked once more. And when Razoul turned around, his face met the hard rock of a low bridge in front of him.

_Wham!_

Several minutes passed when other guards caught up to Razoul and huddled around the unconscious guard, patiently waiting for him to stir.

"Is he dead?" Fasal asked.

"The dead don't moan" Hakim replied.

"I want the jewel in his turban" Nahbi uttered.

Finally, the guard eyes began to flutter open. Was he in heaven? He quickly thought the opposite when one of the angels looked suspiciously like Fasal.

"Wha happen?" Razoul mumbled. It hurt talk as his lips felt sore and swollen.

"We have both of them"

"What?" Razoul asked. Both Fasal and Hakim helped the unsteady captain to his feet. When Razoul finally got his bearings, he could see both donkeys were hooked to the cart. Nahbi stood nearby, fastening the reins on the smaller donkey. The larger one shot a dirty look at Razoul. After all the pandemonium that happened earlier today, they managed to bring both of them back.

The street rat went into another alleyway, we can still catch them" said Hakim.

Razoul looked up at the sky and finally noticed how much time had passed. The late afternoon sun faded from white to a bright yellow. He sighed.

"No, we need to bring these back to the old man," Razoul ordered the other guards. As much as he away hated saying this, the interests of the distressed civilians always came first. "We'll have to get the street rat, next time"

"As usual…" Hakim shrugged.

All four guards mounted the cart. Nahbi gave the reins a gentle flick, causing both donkeys to trot along at a moderate pace. The cart rumbled and rocked over the uneven dirt road.

"Razoul, I think you were right about this idea," Fasal said aloud. "These streets are far too narrow for us to navigate. Maybe we should have used a smaller cart. O-or maybe all of us could learn how to ride donkeys instead! Or maybe…" A tiny clay cooking pot clunked against his forehead. "Ouch!"

"Maybe you should shut up!" Nahbi grumbled. The pudgy guard cursed under his breath.

"Thank you, we'll just make this our secret and forget about it. Hakim proposed.

Razoul picked up one of the copper plates buried within the hay and saw his own reflection. A large gaping hole was now visible in the top row of his massive set of teeth.

"Please, it'll be hard to forget  _this_ " he growled. Then again, it could have been worse. At least the only other broken thing he had to deal with today was just a wheel.

And then the cart fell apart.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed reading this. This was one was very challenging as I had never written these characters before. I'm debating on whether I should try to make more stories like this or keep it as a one-time thing. In fact Im definitely considering on revising the whole thing, but I want to get a few opinions first. Let me know whatever comments or criticisms you have. Be brutal if you have to.


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